Dear readers,
I am so proud of the people who have spoken out about the YC. It’s been 18 years since I was “kicked out” of the church (or politely shown the door). I had many conversations with BF as a student at CMU. I also hung out with members of the band and leadership team. I remember once talking to the band members and leadership team about “the church that God intended.” I disagreed and questioned what the leadership team had said. The basis for my argument was that I had never read anything about what they were saying in the actual bible… I thought they were kind of making things up.
The following Sunday I was greeted by BF, of all people, in the lobby of the church. He wanted to go outside and talk.
He said that he heard I had been talking to his guys. I said, “yes, it’s been great conversation.”
He said, “well, some of it has made them start to question what they believe.” I said, “well isn’t that a good thing? Shouldn’t we always question and grow in our faith?”
Here’s where it got a little interesting:
BF said, “well, it’s upsetting to them and frankly it’s upsetting to me, too.”
I put both my hands up and said, “ya know what…I see where this is going…you have a nice day.”
I never returned.
I would love to talk more about your experience at Grace Church! Please let me know if you are interested.
email me at Khshockey34@gmail.com
Hi Mat,
Thank you for posting here. Your words made me think of this regarding the leader at GC. Also please note sadly, that the prognosis for someone afflicted with this sort of personality disorder is not good as they typically do not respond well to treatment.
“Maybe you’ll find this passage from Power, Surviving & Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse, by Shahida Arabi, useful:
“During the discard phase, the narcissist reveals the true self and you get a glimpse of the abuser that was lurking within all along. You bear witness to his or her cold, callous indifference as you are discarded. This is as close you will ever get to seeing the narcissist’s true self.
The manipulative, conniving charm that existed in the beginning, is no more — instead, it is replaced by the genuine contempt that the narcissist felt for you all along. See, narcissists don’t truly feel empathy for others — so during the discard phase, they often feel absolutely nothing for you except the excitement of having exhausted another source of supply.”
Be careful out there, folks. Keep an eye on those friendships and relationships.”